Are You a Slave of People’s Opinion and Approval?

By Daxx Bondoc (http://www.inspirationalblogs.com/)

Do you constantly trying to prove to others that you are “good enough?”

We must admit that most of our actions are motivated to win the acceptance and admiration of our peers. We always seem to get a high when we are able to attain these.

Most of the time, it is our personal insecurities that cause this “I need to be good enough for you” mentality. One psychologist said that to even entertain this “I need to be good enough” debate in your head is already a choice to go to the path of unhappiness. For you will never be good enough in your mind. You will always find something that you need to be “good enough” to please others.

To live in the mercy of other’s approval and acceptance is like building your life on shifting sands. People’s opinions are fickle. They love you today and then hate you tomorrow. We can see this with movie stars and music artist. Here today and gone tomorrow. Putting the direction of your life at other’s hands is to miss out your life.

We need to learn to accept ourselves. Even those things we do not like in ourselves. Accepting does not mean liking what you see, but accepting that they are real. If you have a bad temper, you do not need to like your bad temper. But you must accept that you have one!

Only when we accept ourselves for who we really are can we start to grow. We must accept our strengths and also our weakness, the good and the bad in us. Only when we can look at ourselves objectively can we start changing those aspects of lives that are in need of improvements.

We must first win the approval of ourselves. I approve of me! Yes I approve of me because God approves of me. If God did not approved, I would not even be here.

If you want to win the approval of others, win the approval of the God first. God approves of your creation, but do you think He approves on how you are living your life right now?
But why do we want God’s approval on our lives?

Because we want joy!

Period.

Quotes from One Tree Hill

One Tree Hill features quotes at the beginning of each episode. They are spoken most of the time by Lucas (Chad Michael Murray).

Some of the One Tree Hill quotes are classics from literature. Here are some favourite One Tree Hill quotes of mine.

Original One Tree Hill quote from the very first episode: Spoken by Lucas

"There is a tide in the affairs of men. Which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune. But omitted, and the voyage of their life is bound in shallows and miseries. On such a full sea are we now afloat, and we must take the current when it serves- or lose the ventures before us."

-William Shakespeare, from Julius Caesar

One Tree Hill quote from the second episode: Spoken by Lucas

"Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark in the hopeless swaps of the not quite, the not yet, and the not at all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish in lonely frustration for the life you deserved and have never been able to reach. The world you desire can be won. It exists. It is real. It is possible. It's yours."

-Ayn Rand, from Atlas Shrugged

One Tree Hill quote from third episode: Spoken by Lucas

"To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else, means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight. And never stop fighting."

-e.e. cummings

One Tree Hill quote from fourth episode: Spoken by Lucas

"It seems to me that if you or I must choose between two courses of thought or action, we should remember our dying and try so to live that our death brings no pleasure on the world."

-John Steinbeck

One Tree Hill quote from third episode of second season: Spoken by Lucas

"Many people die with their music still in them. Too often it is because they are always getting ready to live. Before they know it, time runs out."

-Oliver Wendell Holmes

One Tree Hill quote from fifth episode of season two: Spoken by Lucas

"No man for any considerable period, can wear one face to himself and another to the multitude, without finally getting bewildered as to which may be the true."

-Nathaniel Hawthorne

Bad Moods At Work

The ability to be positive is an essential leadership skill and responsibility. So take a deep breath and put on a happy face. Here's how.

Having a positive attitude, even striving for cheerful, in the workplace isn't always easy. Pat Heim recalls a conference room confrontation between two men that had the executives shouting over each other and pounding their fists on the table. Heim was one of the uncomfortable bystanders and, for her, it was an object lesson in how moods matter at work.

That kind of outburst is bad form for any professional, but it's worth noting up front that overly emotional or moody behavior is often judged more harshly when it comes from a woman, says Heim, CEO of the Heim Group, a consulting firm that specializes in gender differences in the workplace, and author of Hardball for Women: Winning at the Game of Business.

In Depth: Mind Over Mood
"A woman can be perceived as Miss Congeniality for six or seven months, but she does that one bitchy thing and that label will stay with her for a year or two," agrees Courtney Lynch, co-founder of Lead Star, a leadership consulting group out of Fairfax, Va.

While the implications of an angry outburst--or even a sarcastic eye roll--can have a long-lasting impact on an executive's authority, it can also rock her entire team. Research confirms that a sour mood has a ripple effect. Sigal Barsade, Ph.D., an associate professor of management at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania, has done several studies on "emotional contagions" in professional settings and found that, yes, you can catch a bad mood.

Not quite up there with swine flu, but certainly no manager wants negativity spreading throughout her office--especially if she herself is Ground Zero.

The ability to manage your emotions is an essential leadership skill and responsibility. The best managers make the connection between negativity in the workplace and a negative balance sheet. To make the obvious and opposite point, according to Professor Barsade's 2007 study co-authored by Donald Gibson, who is an associate professor of management at the Dolan School of Business at Fairfield University: "Expressing positive emotions and moods tends to enhance performance at individual, group and organizational levels."

"Especially with the economy right now, people look to leaders for calm in a chaotic environment," says Lynch, co-author of Leading from the Front: No-Excuse Leadership Tactics for Women.

People generally experience a bad or angry mood as a response to fury, fear or failure--real or perceived. So what do you do when a phone call from your sitter reporting that your twins just flooded the bathroom--again--strikes just as you're heading into that client meeting?

The first step is self awareness followed by self control. Admit to yourself that, yes, you're in bad mood, and then make sure you keep your crabbiness under wraps. "Some people think, 'This is just my thing--I cry, I scream, I get moody,'" says Lynch. "But that the type of stuff alienates people and erodes your credibility."

What can you do? ForbesWoman asked experts in integrative medicine and psychology to share the advice they tell their clients. Some of their suggestions offer a new take (who knew the benefits of a little foot stomping?) while others are wise words worth repeating.

Be Here Now

When you're feeling cranky, it's often easy to pinpoint (or point fingers at) the problem: your boss, your husband, traffic. But while any one or all may be a problem at the moment, they are not in control of your reaction to them. You are.

Managing how you respond to others is oftentimes simply a matter of managing your thoughts, says Steven Alper, LSCW, a consultant with the Scripps Center for Integrative Medicine who teaches stress-reduction techniques to executives. For example, if your boss gives you an extremely tight deadline for a project, it's easy to get caught in an endless spin cycle of whining: I can't believe she did this to me again! Doesn't she realize I have 10 other things to do this week? Not to mention a family at home that needs me--not that she would know what that's like.

In other words, you're wasting precious time and energy ruminating about the past (all those other 11th-hour assignments) and fretting about the future (not finishing in time to get your kids from daycare). The solution, instead, is to bring yourself into the present. Either get to work, recruit help or explain to your boss why the deadline is unrealistic.

Get Grounded

To short-circuit those recurring negative thought patterns, Alper recommends thinking not on, but with your feet. "We literally feel the thinking in our heads, so you want to get away from where the thinking is going on and drop into the body," he says.

Place your feet firmly on the floor (either standing or sitting--and it's OK to stomp each foot just once) and feel the sensation of the soles of your feet pressing on the surface. This will help you get you out of fantasyland and onto solid ground.

Take a Deep Breath

A foul mood may start in the brain, but it also has a physical effect--calling for a physical solution. Proper breathing techniques can help keep a bad mood from turning into a raised voice or nasty IM.

Alper explains that the value of "taking a breath" isn't simply a matter of pushing the pause button. When something upsets us, like a hostile co-worker, we often freeze--and stop breathing. "When we perceive a threat, the primitive part of our brain prepares the body to fight, flee or freeze by sending blood to our arms and legs--and away from the brain--so you feel more confused," he says.

Slow, deep and rhythmic breathing can dissipate that response. "When you take a deep breath, the message that goes to the brain is, OK, all clear,'" says Alper.

To get the most out of deep-breathing strategies, he recommends practicing them for at least 10 minutes each day; otherwise it will be very difficult to access that relaxation state in a moment of crisis. "It's like batting practice or basic training in sports," he says. "You have to learn the basic skills so that you can deploy them in a game situation."

Hit the Pavement

Exercise is another very simple, effective way to check out of the brain and into the body. Unfortunately, when the client meeting is in 15 minutes, you can't exactly duck out for a Pilates class or a five-mile run.

Fortunately, you don't have to. Robert Thayer, a professor of psychology at California State University, Long Beach, found that mood improves dramatically after a brisk walk of only about 10 to 15 minutes. "It has an immediate and positive effect," says Thayer, who is the author of several books on mood, including The Origin of Everyday Moods. "It both releases tension in the muscles and energizes the body."

Bad moods are inevitable, but there are even more ways to work past them. We can help you with more negativity busters in Mind Over Mood.

Sara Eckel, 07.16.09, 06:00 PM EDT

finally...

i managed to steal time to watched transformers 2...i've been planning to go to kk almost like 4ever...but something always came up... finally last weekend there's no school programme... so took dis opportunity, though there are so many works yet to be done... :)

sadly i dun think transformers 2 is as good as the 1st one... but ice age 3 is superb...u shud watch it...

p/s bila la keningau mau ada cinema ni?? hmm...